You may have noticed some recent changes to the Katie Cashin Therapy website. It’s been fun to work with my friend and creative consultant on this remodeling and I’ve enjoyed seeing the vision become more tangible. But it also felt a little chaotic… It’s required taking down the old, staring at a blank slate for a while, messing up a little and trying again.
One of the most important things I wanted to communicate through my site is a common myth about chaos. Somehow and somewhere we learned that to become unsure and uncertain meant we were doing something wrong.
If you can bring to mind a time when something that felt so solid suddenly shifted you may remember feeling anxious and upset. This is understandable and in fact, totally OK!
What isn’t OK is when we let our shaky nerves drive the bus for longer than necessary. When this happens the game plan becomes avoiding all of the potholes, the situations where we cannot have complete control, aka: mission impossible. And when we are kept busy by avoidance we miss out on the opportunity to transform chaos into creation!
Chaos is part of the reality of life and I don’t mean the Keeping Up with the Kardashians kind of chaos. I mean the unsettling period that accompanies death, new life, marriage, the end of a job, the end of a relationship… I try to remind clients that when the big life questions- “Why do good things happen to bad people?” “How could God/Universal Law allow this to happen?” and “What is my purpose?”- get louder and louder, it does not mean that we have hit a dead end. What it does mean is that the questions are ready to evolve and we are at a point of growth.
In her book, “The Other Side of Chaos; Breaking Through When Life is Breaking Down,” Margaret Silf shares, “The message is really very simple: chaos is not bad news, a mess that we have to bring back into the right kind of order, the order that existed before we messed it up. On the contrary, chaos is a sacred reality, the very thing that is needed for new creation to begin. Chaos is a gift overflowing with potential.”
Now, Silf’s book is fantastic, something I would recommend that everyone add to their library. Still, I can’t pretend that simply reading the blip above is all one needs to turn tragedy into triumph. It takes time to accept the aftermath when something unsettling occurs and seeing the potential in the pain does not happen instantaneously.
When people ask, “Why go to therapy?” This is one of my answers: Professionals who bring a new set of eyes and ears to the situation, and who do not have a personal stake in your healing process, offer a space for people to healthfully move towards acceptance and change.
So with some courage, support, and guidance, we no longer have to become experts at avoiding the potholes. We can see the chaos for what it is: a time for something new.
Have you had a chaos to creation experience? How did you grow through the challenge? What grounded and kept you steady as you moved forward?